By Tora Matys
The western world has tarnished the concept of an orgasm.
Here people are taught that an orgasm is only achieved through good sex and that is the defining factor of whether or not someone is good in bed.
In the practice of Taoist Tantra, for example, it is taught that an orgasm is the life energy moving inside oneself and that when this energy is moving inside there are many physical and mental benefits.
Vireo Karvonen is a sacred sexuality pleasure coach and author. She has studied and experienced sexual healing in Thailand and Portugal and focuses on helping people better understand their sexuality and be free of shame.
“We look at sexuality so different in the western world […] in Taoist Tantra you’re looking at the way you live, the way you eat and the way you sleep. Sexuality is not separate as this thing you just do, you have sex. No, it’s [sexuality as] part of your whole way of life. […] Rest, movement, keeping that life force energy moving in the body is all a part of being a sexual person filled with vitality,” said Vireo.
A big focus of teaching for Vireo as well is resolving the feeling of shame that some people may hold towards themselves and their bodies. She focuses on the art of sacred femininity and runs many classes and programs helping women understand themselves and their bodies in a way that isn’t taught.
“As women, we tend to have more hang-ups and shame around our bodies. Men do too but not to the degree that [women] do,” said Vireo.
“There are specific things about female anatomy that we are never told as women. I didn’t learn a lot of this stuff until I was 50 years old. Men are not taught the same shame around their bodies and self-pleasure. Even their body parts have cool or fun names. Whereas for the female, a lot of our body parts become swears or weak things,” said Vireo.
A big part of overcoming shame for both men and women is understanding everyone has both feminine and masculine energies inside of themselves.
It’s only after someone, female or male, overcomes their shame towards their body, that they can begin to start feeling safe and open in the bedroom with either themselves or a partner.
Vireo stresses the importance of consensual sex and feeling safe in an environment.
“Safety is important for our brain as women. If we don’t actually feel safe […] that actually impacts our sexuality. Men just need to be a little more sensitive to that, even on campus, it’s not necessarily what men are doing, it’s the history that we’ve had in our western culture,” said Vireo.
Vireo offers a variety of workshops, either individual or group sessions, covering topics from busting shame, to belief re-patterning to sexual reflexology. Like hand or foot reflexology, sexual reflexology suggests that different parts of the penis or vagina connect to other organs in the body such as the heart, lungs or brain.
“The benefits of Sexual Reflexology is that you are literally nourishing your vital organs. […] Pleasure and touch, whether it’s a self-massage or self-touch, doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual, is releasing endorphins and dopamine in the body.[…] It creates a better state for learning when you experience pleasure,” said Vireo.
Vireo is offering a free 7-step program to help release body shame and feel sexier on her website. Find Vireo on Facebook @vireoauthor and Instagram @vireo_karvonen.