The last time we published an issue of The Fugget, the papers flew off the newsstands … as they were carried away by infuriated NAIT staff.

Staff Controlling All Reading and Educational Decisions, or S.C.A.R.E.D., was a group
formed with the intent of curating which literature is acceptable for NAIT students to be exposed to.

“The decision to pull the papers from newsstands was made to protect our students. How are grown adults supposed to know what’s appropriate and funny if we don’t tell them,” said chancellor of the group, Ivanna Censor.

To ensure that a satire issue of a student newspaper looking to have some fun and make some jokes was “kept in line,” S.C.A.R.E.D.
took further precautionary measures in addition to removing the issues from the stands.

The regime’s first act was to hold a bonfire to promote community at NAIT … and to burn all traces of The Fugget.

“We don’t ever want to repeat history by letting writers do something that may offend and exclude others … so we held the first-ever peaceful book burning,” said Censor.

The chancellor’s self-proclaimed “greatest” S.C.A.R.E.D. achievement was when she started a secret policing organization to seek out all satire-sympathizers and blacklist them from all NAIT events. The Satire Stoppers, or the SS for short, were tasked with infiltrating any groups who wrote or read satire. Even those who didn’t outright oppose The Fugget’s satire were given the same poor treatment as supporters.

“If you’re not with us you’re against us, and if the government isn’t going to regulate who should get to use their freedom of assembly and speech, it’s up to us S.C.A.R.E.D. people to decide it for NAIT,” said Censor.

The resistance has been building for years and the Fugget United Comedy and Knowledge Undertaking, or F.U.C.K.U has just released another Fugget.

 

S.C.A.R.E.D.’s Official Logo