By Elijah O’Donnell

I have been saying it for years now people, and it’s finally happened. It’s obvious, the secret lizard government is behind it all. I’m talking about the COVID-19 Coronavirus pandemic of course. I mean, what sounds more believable? That this whole thing just sprang from out of nowhere? Or that it was designed from the top down by mega-rich, uber-powerful shadow governments with plans of world domination in mind? So, like John Goodman in 10 Cloverfield Lane, keep those supplies stocked, those wits sharp, and for God’s sake, keep that door shut! This week we’re talking about COVID Conspiracies.

5G and Me

Remember the huge rollout of 5G towers that was going on just before everything really started to hit? Yes, what at surface level might just look like the next step in faster on-the-go connection may have some darker sinister roots.

We already know that 5G is easily just a plot to track citizens of the free world more effectively while weakening our population for easier social and psychological manipulation. But could it also be causing the Coronavirus?

A former Vodafone executive (who turned out to just be an evangelical pastor from the UK) let us in on a little secret: the pandemic was just a means to install 5G towers worldwide, track populations through vaccine microchips and crumble society as we know it.

Pointy Fingers

One big point of contention is just where did this virus come from? Converted sheeple will tell you it just jumped from a bat to humans, likely story… but someone who can think outside the box they put you in will tell you that it all started in a lab.

Up to one in three Americans believe that the Coronavirus was, in fact, created in a lab. They believe China is creating a weapon to take out the United State’s population.

But, going one level deeper, could the US military have brought the virus to Wuhan? The US Military did have a presence at the 2019 Military World Games in Wuhan last October. This would mean that the US could have planted the virus to instill hostility towards China, potentially creating conflict between the two countries. What’s better for the economy than a little war?

Bill Gates?

Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, American business magnate and definite secret lizard person is under fire. People are starting to believe he had a sinister hand in all of this.

A video has started making the rounds of Gates during a TedTalk all the way back in 2015. In the video, he is speaking on the Ebola outbreak and warning of another global health crisis to come. How would he have known that back in 2015 without knowing of COVID-19 beforehand? This makes it look like Gates has had an active hand in creating and potentially distributing the virus.

Microsoft has, of course, a litany of 5G connected products, and Gates has openly and publicly advocated for vaccine use and distribution. Is this just another way for the Lizard Government to keep tabs on us? You decide.

If you’ve got a conspiracy you think we would like, take off that tinfoil hat, find a non-traceable computer and hit us up at entertain@nait.ca.