Hare today, gone tomorrow: Egg-cellent and egg-ceptionally bad easter treats

by | Apr 13, 2023 | Opinion

There exists a wide variety of Easter chocolate, from hollowed-out chocolate bunnies–one of the greatest scams to children in history–to egg-shaped chocolate. Armed with my debit card, I went to Kingsway Mall to get as much Easter chocolate as possible to taste it. I usually don’t buy easter candy; I find it too cheap and overly sweet, but duty calls. I’ll be grading them on a scale of one to five bunny heads, five being the best

1. Bunnyfields foil-wrapped chocolate eggs: Bunny face outline

The standard cheap chocolate that your parents get you if they don’t love you. It tasted gritty, chalky and way too sugary. I bought a small bag and could only eat one of them. I would not give them to my worst enemy, so I decided to give them to my classmates as a kind gesture.

2. Lindt gold bunny:Bunny face outlineBunny face outlineBunny face outline

Lindt has been making affordable chocolate for years. The eggs are filled with a creamy ganache. I love putting them in the fridge for a few hours to let the ganache harden, so I can let it melt in my mouth.

3. Marshmallow Peeps: Bunny face outlineBunny face outline raw, (Bunny face outline Bunny face outlineBunny face outlineBunny face outline microwaved)

I have never had a peep before; my mother never bought them as a kid, and I never bothered to buy one. They looked disgusting, like something that would come out of Big Bird’s backside. My thoughts after tasting one for the first time in my life: the texture was excellent but flavourless. It was just a bland taste, not even marshmallow flavoured. I have wanted to see one in a microwave since an Easter episode of “South Park,” so into the microwave it went. I was happy to see it expand, but not as big as I had hoped. I discovered that it tasted terrific microwaved; it reminded me of the burnt outer layer of a campfire marshmallow, and I loved it. 

4. Cadbury Creme Egg: Bunny face outline  and Hershey Cookies ‘n’ Cream Egg: Bunny face outlineBunny face outlineBunny face outline

I tried a Cadbury Creme Egg as a kid and found it disgusting. I still find the Cadbury Creme Egg abhorrent. It’s odd, as I love the McFlurry version of it? Maybe I would like the egg if I cracked it over a bowl of vanilla ice cream. But I don’t understand how people don’t find these extremely disgusting. I had to toss it away.

I loved the Cookies ‘n’ Cream Egg. It tasted just like the bar form of it, and the filling was not too sweet. 

5. Great Value solid chocolate bunny:Bunny face outline

The only kind thing I have to say about this is that it makes the Bunnyfield eggs seem like Lindt-caliber chocolate. A Van Gogh-style chocolate bunny sits in my garbage.

6. Purdy’s Dark chocolate baby bunny:Bunny face outlineBunny face outlineBunny face outlineBunny face outlineBunny face outline

Expensive but worth it. It’s smooth and dark with no grit. Words can not describe how amazing this is.

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