I generally like NAIT’s washrooms. For the most part, they are clean and well-maintained, and they’re surprisingly odour-free when not in use (except for the men’s room at the ground floor of X-Wing, which has a perpetual low-level stink.)

But do I like them enough to actually hang out there? No way. I could name a hundred better spots in NAIT to hang out in besides the washrooms, but still, there are groups of students who appear to genuinely enjoy spending an ungodly amount of time just chatting with each other there.

Picture this scenario: I went for a quick washroom break during one of my classes, and just when I was drying my hands, a group of four guys entered — seemingly in the middle of a conversation. They just stayed by the open area near the entrance, not making any moves to use the toilets nor the urinals.

I left and I went back to my class.

Ten minutes later, I realized I forgot my toque by the sink, so I quickly went back for it. What did I see? Those same four guys, still talking and in the exact same positions as when I left them. By all indications, they just went there to chat. Nothing else.

The CAT washrooms are the usual setting of these inexplicable hangouts, presumably because they are spacious enough to fit a small crowd, but similar observations have been made about the larger washrooms in the HP Centre and other buildings. Four out of five times, the people who do this speak a language I don’t understand, so I have given up trying to figure out what topic could be so interesting that they have to talk about it in the washroom instead of literally anywhere else.

Here’s the thing though — despite the confusion and annoyance that this causes, hanging out in the washrooms is not actually against any campus rules.

Given that it would be futile to discourage adults from doing something they are not really prohibited to do, I suggest they take their enthusiasm a step further by actually seeking recognition from NAITSA as a special interest club. Think about it: these washroom enthusiasts already display a level of consistency and commitment that many campus clubs can only dream of.

And imagine the potential of such a club. They can hold their events weekly in a washroom of their choice and announce it on Ooks Life, where those interested can join in the fun and learn the secrets of washroom conversation (while basking in the various sounds and aromas of human biological activity.) They can also establish knowledge-sharing links with washroom enthusiasts of other schools, like U of A and MacEwan, to devise new ways to make someone feel awkward while doing their thing in the toilet cubicle.

There will of course be challenges, such as finding a club advisor qualified enough to, well, advise these lavatory lovers on their washroom shenanigans (and not advise them to get out of the washroom, like any sensible human being would.)

And there’s also the prospect of trying to convince the NAITSA Campus Clubs Manager on how such a club will enrich campus life, and not just washroom life.

To those who are nevertheless still strongly against hanging out in washrooms, there is hope. In a previous Nugget article, the Campus Clubs Manager was quoted saying interest clubs have an average life span of just five years. By encouraging washroom enthusiasts to form a club now, they might actually be gone by 2030. Let this be your gift to future generations of NAIT students who love a peaceful washroom.

Feature image graphic by Alleah Boisvert